New column by experts look at love and marraige

When we tell our clients that sex begins in the kitchen, they seem surprised and then smile as if we said something kinky. "We thought it begins in the bedroom", they often reply. But there's nothing kinky about it. It's just common sense.

Since the way a couple acts toward each other over the first cup of coffee in the morning affects the way they will relate in the bedroom in the evening.

Good sex or bad sex starts at the beginning of the day. If you start the day grouchy, tense and worried and talk sharply to your spouse with put-downs and criticism-. that's almost a built-in guarantee that sex that night will be a disaster. Make a play for your wife that night and you will be touching an iceberg. You're liable to spend a lonely night with yourself as company. Men are often puzzled by this situation. After all, "if we had a spat morning and said things we should have said, it should be forgone by the time I come home. I love wife, she should know that, so is she still resentful eight hours after we had a little argument. Can't enjoy the evening instead of thinking about what happened in the morning.. I certainly can, so what the big deal?"

It is a "big deal" for women. Our male clients often say, "My wife has a memory like an elephant. She'll bring up out of nowhere argument we had two years ago the I never remembered even happened!"

So attention has to be paid to this difference between men and women if you want an opportunity for good sex instead of an invitation to get lost.